Shishi Odoshi
by Mujakina Choshi
Summary: Another quick drabble, this time about Kira. Rated T for Renji. I guess it's fluffy, but it's a close friends thing, not shounen-ai.


This is a Kira-centric drabble (maybe?) Had no idea where it was going when I started it.

Immediately after the end of the Soul Society arc.

--

Matsumoto Rangiku received an apology. Later, she received another apology across the bottle-littered table. He had no idea how much of either she took to heart or what had actually happened that day.

His head throbbed. It momentarily deafened him to the steady _slosh,_ _tak tak…_

As the migraine ebbed away the clay slipped slowly from his fingers, the neck dangled from his curled pinky finger for some time, then twirled off his skin and hit the ground. It shattered.

_Slosh, tak tak…_

He blinked down at the broken sake jug. He didn't remember how long it had been empty. He didn't remember walking all the way to this secluded place, either. In fact he found he had trouble remembering a lot of things at the moment. At least now he was assured alcohol had a hand in it.

His foot slid gradually away from him, locking his right leg as he lowered to the ground. He found his left elbow resting on a cold, smooth monolith. His left leg clumsily folded under him and his sandal stopped slipping in the sand. Upper body twisted away and chest pressed against the rock, he sank to the ground with a soft _thud._

_Slosh, tak tak…_

He sat there for a minute, or more, he wasn't exactly keeping track. Thinking about that day made his head hurt. Vaguely, he recalled the proposal of the idea that he drown the pain in alcohol. This was subsequently followed by the proposal of the idea that he come to a bar, with others; and this preceded the proposal of the idea that he actually talk about it, damn it, which preceded the proposal of the idea that he just break something and leave hiccupping, drink in hand.

Leaned against the rock for support, Kira slowly straightened himself against it, so that his back was pressed to it and not the better half of his front. He pulled his left leg out from under him and let it flop unceremoniously half-bent to the ground.

Now that he was suitably comfortable, he took in his surroundings.

_Slosh, tak tak…_

A zen garden. Sand paler than he was carefully raked into delicate circles and patterns, rippling out from painstakingly placed stones. The man sat smack in the middle of it, disrupting the flow of the pattern and defacing the pure, soft sand with clay fragments.

It was slowly beginning to dawn on him that no matter how hard he tried to stop, no matter how much he tried to numb his brain with alcohol, he couldn't stop thinking about it. He could never stop thinking about these kinds of things and this- this had turned everything upside-down. He sobbed once, softly.

_Slosh, tak tak…_

It was also beginning to dawn on him that he was staring at something that had just moved. It was for so briefly, so suddenly, and so punctually that he hadn't noticed at first.

A _shishi odoshi_ was set carefully into a stream just a little ways in front of him. He watched with an abrupt and unexplained fascination at the process that had just begun. The little bamboo shoot, so innocuous, filled with water. After some time, it tipped slowly, releasing the water into the stream, tipped back up, and made a crisp clacking noise on the rock surface its frame was set in.

_Slosh, tak tak…_

It began to fill again. It had been going on like this before Kira stumbled into the garden and he expected it would continue long after he up and stumbled out, whenever that would be.

There was a moment spent meditating on the device when he heard the footsteps and saw the shadow of someone approaching his rock from behind.

"Izuru-san…"

"Renji…"

_Slosh, tak tak…_

Both voices were slurred and slow. Another moment passed. Renji Abarai neither sat next to him nor moved to turn away. He just waited.

"That's me."

"Whuh?" Renji muttered after a second, mildly startled. He stared down at the back of Kira's head.

"That… That's me," he choked out, "tipping over. 'Cause I… I'm empty. I have nothing to hold me in place… anymore."

_Slosh, tak tak…_

Kira's form shuddered once, suddenly cold. He made no attempt to draw himself in, only sat there limply against the rock in the garden. He did bring his hand to his forehead, though whether he was hiding his eyes or genuinely in pain was ambiguous.

The taller of the two stared at the _shishi odoshi_ for a moment, then at his blonde companion, then back to the little stream, then the sky, and then anywhere but his blonde companion. He was admittedly still sore after Kira stormed out of the bar.

…

"_C'mon Kira, loosen up just a little! We came here to have fun!"_

"_What do you expect, Abarai, after hi- OW!"_

"_Shut up! Do you not have an __**ounce **__of tact in your body?"_

"_Guys… I think maybe I'm done for tonight."_

"_Oh come on, don't go. We just got here."_

"_No, really… My head is killing me and I… I'm sorry, I just don't feel like drinking."_

"_Ch… Cheer up,'s not __**that**__ bad!" _

"_Renji, maybe you __**should **__leave him be…"_

"_Just forget about him for now! Who cares about those bastards, anyway-"_

"_Renji-"_

_CRASH!_

"_Wh…What the?!"_

"_Kira?!"_

"…"

"…_He's never done something like that before."_

…

_Slosh, tak tak…_

He rubbed the spot where the cup had shattered against his temple, sighing. Kira didn't seem to take notice. Renji's boisterous attempt at cheering him up clearly didn't do any good, and he was unsure of what to say now that his friend was in a depressed, drunken stupor and dangerously miserable enough sober.

Fortunately he hadn't had as many drinks and something occurred to him. He chased the idea out of his mouth in hopes that it and Kira could connect.

"Well… It gets full again, doesn't it?"

"… Whuh?"

Fuck. "The… The empty thing." He gestured widely to the _shishi odoshi_.

"…Oh." Kira turned back to the apparatus in question. The water tinkled into the chute, barely audible. He thought about it a little more. It was steady. Steadily filling and steadily emptying itself.

_Slosh, tak tak…_

Renji, assuming that his attempt at commiseration had failed, lumbered over and grasped his dejected friend's arm, trying as gently as possible to hoist him to his feet. He was surprised when Kira cooperatively gripped Renji's shoulder and slowly wobbled to his feet.

They both supported each other for a minute.

"So it does."

--

I'm sorry. I don't know why this was stuck in my head. It's not very well written :/


End file.
